Changes

In every life there are changes, some good some bad.  

After 2 + years of driving for the railroad I feeling a call from God for a change, partially for my family life and for my own sanity, He decided my mission was complete with PTI. But I am not leaving without me making a mark on the railroad and the railroad making a mark on me. I think about the guys and gals that I drove around. Some were happy people and some where not so happy. I think about what my mission was at the rail yard, it still  baffles me but God had me there for a reason. I recall this last year and I think about the one engineer that looks like Cornelius the prospector from Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer, Yes he did pan for gold, played Santa Claus and scuba dived. I think about the conductor who was always ready for with a practical joke. Always acting like he was hurt that you said something or did something to him that was wrong towards him, but always got a mischievous smile as he got on the train.

I think about the conductor that was cold and aloof, just plain rude sometimes but  when I found out that he had a horrible back issue and his wife is slowly dying at home you learn to talk to him different and his attitude changes towards you and he even apologizes to you for being so nasty.

These are just a few of many that I think about daily, believe me there are many more that have made an impact on my life. The rail road life is not a good life. They get at best 48 hours home at any one time. Many have broken marriages, injuries they don't tell the railroad about so they can keep their job. Ye sit pays well but the quality of life is crap.

This brings me to three particular men who were in my life one day, laughing and joking and out of my life the next day at their own hands. 2 by gun one by pills. For what ever reason they decided that their emotional or physical pain was to much to bear any more so they decided to end their lives.

They are remembered in the hearts of their family members and at the rail yard they are remembered by three 8 x 10 wooden plaques.

I think of these three more than once a day. were they my mission? was I supposed to touch their lives and perhaps keep them from this ending? Was I supposed to show more of the love of Christ to them than I actually did? I know God will never "Blame" my for not doing more, but I know God would be disappointed in me if I had an opportunity that I blew. How many opportunities have you had that you kept silent on?

So I start a new chapter in my life. An opportunity to touch the down trodden people of Elkhart as a manager trainee at a pawn shop. My old boss told me I would be dealing with nothing but crack heads, I haven't seen that yet. I have seen a single mother trying hard to pay her electricity, a young couple searching for a perfect ring, a Hispanic disc jockey getting that last piece of equipment he needed for the perfect set up.I have seen people paying bills by pawning the same necklace week after week. I have witnessed heart break from people losing their jewelry because they simply didn't have the money to get it back because their bad circumstance got worse.

Yes, God has me were I am for a reason, through my last job I learned that I need to be more obedient to His calling. This job He has already given me opportunities to prove my obedience. I pray that I am always open to His calling and I always respond to it.

Until next time friends...... I will see you on the other side. ~ Drew

I'm a grandpa?

If you would have told me 32 years ago as I was graduating from high school that I would someday be a grandfather I would have told you that is a long way off. At the time I didn't even have a girlfriend, no prospects even. But the time flies quickly. Here I am 50 years old, and yesterday I became a grandfather for the first time. Jonathan Robert Wohlford Jr. was brought into the world at 9:20 last night. 8 Pounds 14 ounces and 21 1/4 inches long. After seeing how big my daughter in law was she must have been all baby. I can hardly wait to see little Jon, but that has got to wait until later tonight. I am going to my new job on my day off from my old job and fill out my paper work. Then I will wait for my wife to come home so Brenda, Sarah and I can go up and see the baby.  I have no problem with you calling me grandpa but for some reason Brenda has a problem with being called grandma. I think its a psychological thing, she says there is only one person that should call her grandma and he can't speak yet. So off I go to get a shopping list together for tonight, rest my eyes for a little bit and then head up to the next job. Hope you all have a blessed day. Until next time I will see you on the other side ~ Drew

"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"

Life goes on.... It's been awhile since I have blogged and I am sorry for that. This week I gained 1.8 pounds. It seemed to me that the week consisted of a lot of stress and drama. The weather has started changing and my body feels like it wants to go into hibernation. It can never get satisfied, even when I am full it is still looking for something. So this week has been an incredible challenge.

     I am going to be a grandpa in about 37 days.... 37 days. It seems like just yesterday Bekah and Jon said they were pregnant. A grandpa... I am someone that never thought I would make it to 30 years old, let alone 50 and a grand baby on the way. I had a real does of how fragile life can be last week when I found out a buddy from high school passed away. Lots of people my age are passing.  I guess its the fact that I am just getting older. So life goes on.

     I had an interview last week for another job. Had some red flags pop up so I will have to do some heavy duty praying if it is offered to me. God has a special place for me, I just need to be patient and wait on Him.

    Still believing God is going to our needs and some wants.

Next time I think I might blog about some of the characters that work for the railroad. That should be fun, including a guy who is Santa Claus. Until next time friends, I will see you on the other side. ~ Drew

Curve ball, swing and a miss

it is inevitable the life will hand you curves. This last 2 months has been nothing but curves to me. so here I sit drinking a beer trying not to wonder but trying to figure out what's going on in my life. The stoggie is being smoked the Beer is being drank. Do I continue and trusting the person that is hurt me beyond all hurt. Do I trust the words that I've been lied to me so many times. I pray, God gives me no answers. I cry out and still nothing. each and every day I hurt deeper and deeper. I love, yet I hurt. anyone that knows me knows that I over analyze every little detail in life. in fact I obsess about it. I try to think about everything is possible in that situation rather than trust what is actually there. Today I have decided to trust. I may be hurt again but it's all worth the hurt if the outcome is to my liking. My life is not been perfect I have not done everything right. I have however done more than been done to me as far as trusting and hoping. will I be hurt again? Absolutely. by the same person I pray I don't. my life has become such a country song. In a dead end job, cant make ends meet. it seems like everything is working against me when I am trying to get things back on track.

I know however, the devil working against me. He wants to see me fail he wants to see me walk away from my life. I have news for him I am a new creation in Christ. I will fight for what I feel is mine. I will give 100 and 50 percent into anything that I want. So as I relax and watch the neighborhood kids get off the bus. I know my life is a lot more perfect than a lot of those out there. I know that I have over analyzed things too much. I know the person that has hurt me needs forgiveness.

Tonight I will forgive that person, I will love that person, I will hold that person and I will cry. not tears of fear or doubt, but tears of a newfound hope that I have through Christ. for Christ is the answer. I ask and pray that He guides and directs me from this day forward. I covet your prayers to pray for me. this hasn't been easy but I will not fail. until next time I will see you on the other side. ~Drew

In the midst of it all

Depression sucks. I mean it really sucks especially when it is something you really can't control because of someone disrespecting you. I have been through a range of emotions these last couple of months, trying to put on a brave face for all to see. Sometimes though, all I want to do is crawl in a hole and hide forever.
When you trust someone and they break that trust multiple times it hurts. Sometimes a sixth sense kicks in after being hurt so much and you just know you aren't getting the whole story. But be that as it may, this is life! You evaluate and reevaluate the people in your life and decide whether to go on with them or not. A lot of reevaluating has been going on in my world. Still not sure which way I am going because of the hurt and confusion. I don't want to make any rash decision.

This week I knew I was going to gain weight. Simply because that is the way my body operates I lose for 2 -3 weeks and then I gain a few pounds. If this would have happened 9 months ago I probably would have given up, but because I have come so far I am not doing that. There are so many other things going on in my life right now that I really can't afford to walk away from my new way of eating. So I go on with the diet, I go on with my life and I just ask that you pray for me. I am really hurting, I am depressed and I need all the help I can get. Until next time friends, I will see you on the other side ~ Drew

If you would have told me a year ago

I would have told you that you were crazy if you would have told me a year ago that today I would be 3.4 pounds from losing 90 pounds. I would have let you know that you were certifiable. You see last year at this time I had no self confidence and no self worth. I had tried to diet but it had never worked because I was doing the quick fad things. Losing weight is a life style change, a life long commitment to eat better and exercise more. Do I fail, absolutely but now I take those failures and use them to my advantage, not to beat up myself but to learn what triggered the event.

 This week has been one of those weeks and the picture to the left actually is a picture of sin. You see this week I ate a McDonald's Happy Meal. I know, I know it is just a Happy Meal but it was on top of my regular food, so on that day I doubled my calories. It wasn't even the lowest calorie Happy Meal (Chicken Nuggets) it was a cheeseburger happy meal and they put a regular fry in it instead of a kid fry. That's right I stuffed my mouth with it all. I might add here that even though I doubled my calories I was still below the calories I started with last October. So lets look at the triggers. Depression, lack of money (makes sense to me to spend money I don't have to feed my addiction) and lack of sleep. So now I know what the triggers are how do I fix them. Lack of money, I am in the process of finding a better job, not too many people have openings for my skills or lack there of, but I am trying. Lack of sleep isn't going to change any time too soon seeing Brenda and I are on different schedules and Depression, I am working on this one but it is a daily battle for me. I know you are saying Drew, you are so happy all the time... Even a clown wears a mask.

As you can see my transformation is coming along. I feel encouraged when I put on a piece of clothing I haven't been able to wear, this week it was jeans. Besides my fat jeans I have not been able to wear jeans for about 2 years. I had two pair in the closet just waiting for me and this week I was able to put a pair on. I am so stinking close to a 3xl shirt it isn't funny. I can get it buttoned but it bunches a little when I sit down.

 Overall I am happy with the weight loss has gone and to possible be at 90 pounds gone next week is exciting. At 100 pounds I will be half way there. at this rate it will be at the end of my 51st year that I am fit by 51 but it will happen and I will be bringing you along on the entire journey. Thank you for being my accountability partners. So until next time, I will see you on the other side. ~ Drew

Everything Is Going Fine Except Everything

Chris Sligh - This is Life

The fact that I have a vested interest in this album project has not swayed my opinion at all. Anyone that knows me, knows that if I think something sucks I would tell you.
This is life is an album that was worth waiting the extra time for. Chris Sligh has hit it out of the park with his 37 song 3 CD album.

"Hey I'm on top of the world and everything is fine, except everything." the beginning words of "Around Me" really sums up how all of us feel at one time or another.

The Cd's are split into three areas, Praise and worship, Love and Hope.

In CD one you actually go on a journey with Chris From Worship to praise. He covered a few classics but also wrote some originals that are so great that I know some day they will be classics themselves. Some of my favorites, in no particular order, "You meet our needs", "teach me oh God", "How Great", "Communion Song." and when you hear "Come Revive", you won't be able to stay in your seat.

In CD two we see a personal love story between Chris, his wife, his child and his Savior. Some of my favorites in the CD is the a fun song, " A Poorly written love song", "This is Life", "Around Me", and "A good man"

In CD three, one of my favorites. Chris sings of over coming hardships and hardness that life throws your way and being triumphant over them. There isn't a song I don't like on this part of the project. LOVE "Shining Down", "Just Hold On",and "Learning to fly" however its "You were born to die" that even as I type these words I am tearing up.

Friends if you don't include this CD project in your collection you are missing out. Please support his ministry, I think these songs will touch you in places you never knew where touchable.

http://chrissligh.com/

Until next time friends, I will see you on the other side ~ Drew